“Caledonian Buses. If we run you down, you were asking for it!”
References
Dumfries and Galloway Standard. (9/Jan/1943) pg.7
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Look out in the black-out!
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Perth pubs per capita
In 1821, there were about 200 pubs in the town of Perth. The number of Perthlings of drinking age (15+) in 1821 was 12,665.
I make that roughly one pub per 63 people and a damn long pub crawl.
In October 1525, Archbishop of Glasgow, Gavin Dunbar wrote an angry hellfire and damnation curse upon the Border Reivers to be read out before mass in the areas the Reivers preyed on. 1478 words long, here are some snippits in modern Scots.
“I CURSE thair heid an aa the hairs o thair heid; I CURSE thair face, thair een, thair mouth, thair nose, thair tongue, thair teeth, thair craig, thair shoulders, thair breist, thair hert, thair stomach, thair back, thair wame, thair arms, thair legs, thair hands, thair feet an ilka pairt o thair body, frae the tap o thair heid tae the sole o thair feet, afore an ahint, within an outwith. I CURSE thaim gangin, an I CURSE thaim ridin; I CURSE thaim staunin, an I CURSE thaim sittin; I CURSE thaim eatin, I CURSE thaim drinkin;”
He goes on:
“I CURSE thaim waukin, I CURSE thaim sleepin; I CURSE thaim risin, I CURSE thaim lyin; I CURSE thaim at hame, I CURSE thaim frae hame; I CURSE thaim in the house, I CURSE thaim out the house…”
He also CURSES: their wives, bairns, servants, crops, cattle, wool, sheep, horses, pigs, geese, hens, livestock, halls, rooms, kitchens, stables, barns, byres, yards, kail, ploughs, harrows…
You can hear the whole (9 minutes) of the curse here: http://reivers.info/the-bishops-curse-dialect/
References
Borland, R. (1898) Border Raids and Reivers. Thomas Fraser, Dalbeattie. pp. 274-279
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“odd kind of distemper”
Sarah Dalrymple, Countess of Dumfries (1654-1744) was said to have had suffered from a “distemper” that caused her to fly across the room and around the garden. Was it witchcraft? None could say. Was she definitely 100% flying about? Robert Wodrow was absolutely certain.
That Sarah could fly was apparently common knowledge at the time and after her death. In a pasquil (a satirical poem) lampooning the Stairs family, a poet had this to say about her:
The airie fiend, for Stairs hath land in Air,
verse from “Satyre on the Familie of Stairs”
Possess another daughter for ther share,
Who, without wings, can with her rumple flye.
No middling-foull did ever mount so high;
Can skip o’er mountains, and o’er steiples soare,
A way to petticoats ne’re known before.
Her flight’s not useless, though she nothing catch;
She’s good for letters when they neid despatch.
When doors and windows shutt, cage her at home,
She’le play the shittlecock through all the roume,
This high flown lady never trades a stair,
To mount her wyse Lord’s castles in the air–
References
Maidment, J. (ed) (1868) A Book of Scotish Pasquils 1568-1715 [sic]. William Paterson, Edinburgh. pg.179
Wodrow, R. (1842) Analecta: or, Materials for a history of remarckable providences; mostly relating to Scotch ministers and Christians. Vol. 2. Maitland Club, Glasgow pg.4
Thank you to @Flitcraft for letting me know about the pasquil.
In the 1600s, Nairn paid “honest men” called cunnisters to publicly “tak tryall o the ale or beer from every inn thrice weekly” and loudly declare whether it was good or not. Brewers were fined a shilling for every bad pint the cunnisters got.
Update:
Seems that “ale-cunnars” have been important roles in Scottish burghs since at least the 15th century including references from Peebles (1460), Prestwick (1470), Dunfermline (1497), Stirling (1548), and Lanark (1569)
References
Bain, G. (1893) History of Nairnshire. Nairn Telegraph Office, Nairn. pg.333
“cunnar”. Dictionary of the Older Scottish Tongue. https://dsl.ac.uk/entry/dost/cunnar
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Supple tricks over St Giles’s
On 10th July 1598, David Weir, “ane juggler”, “playit supple tricks” on a tightrope suspended from the top of the steeple of St Giles’s Cathedral to Edinburgh’s mercat cross. King James VI gave him £20.
References
Birrel, R. (1605?) The Diarey of Robert Birrel, Burges of Edinburghe, containing Divers Passages of Staite, and Uthers Memorable Accidents; Frome the 1532 Zeir of our Redemptione, Till Ye Beginning of the Zeir 1605. In: Dalyell, J.G. [ed.] (1798) Fragments of Scotish History. A. Constable, Edinburgh.
Lawson, R. (1917) The Story of the Scots Stage . E.P Dutton & Co., New York. pp.87-88
On 15th Jan 1739, a deadly hurricane hit central Scotland. At Loch Leven winds drove pike and perch by the “horseload” onto the fields that were sold for a penny per hundred. 229 yr later (to the day) was the Great Storm of 1968 which killed 50+ people.
Banff was once home to Scotland’s largest pear tree. Nicknamed “Byron’s Pear” after “that wee deevil Geordie Byron” (age 8) fell out of it while stealing fruit from the manse garden. It was 42ft tall, 13ft around the trunk and the canopy was 150ft across.
Incidentally, Banff folk thought “Geordie Byron” was a little shit. He was known as “the English nickom” (wee devil). After a Miss Abercromby of Birkenbog complained to his mother about him, he headbutted her in the gut and said he’d throw her off a balcony (he was aged 7).
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An amber gifthorse
In 1525, cow herders at Buchan Ness found a mass of Baltic amber washed up on the shore. The priest they dragged it to didn’t want it, so they broke it up and shared it. Said to be the size of a horse, it was probably the biggest piece of amber ever found.
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Traversing the Maelstrom
In June 1947, George Orwell and his family almost drowned in the Corryvreckan whirlpool between Jura and Scarba. In 1981, his brother-in-law, Bill Dunn (61) became the first person to swim across the whirlpool. Dunn lost his right leg at the hip in WW2.
